People say stupid stuff...

There are many things I've learned in life. The thing that seems to be the most prevalent in recent years is, people say stupid stuff. Some days it bothers me. Generally I can ignore it. I mean, I say stupid stuff too. I get it. Today was one of the days that I was able to walk away and ignore it.


I had two men in tonight and we were talking about skydiving. (Hang in here, there is a back story.) We talked about how none of us have ever wanted to nor planned on ever doing it. I mentioned that I came close last year to doing it because I had had two gentlemen in the bar who had both said they would donate $1000 to my charity if I would do it. This led to a discussion on what my charity is. For the last 4 1/2 years I have donated my time to Angel Eyes which is a non-profit who helps out families like mine who have lost an infant or child to SIDS, SUID, SUDC, or other unexplained causes. I showed the men the blurb we have posted at work (my job has been very supportive of Angel Eyes) and explained about Angel Eyes. They started making jokes about SUDS, not sure where that came from, and in general made a spectacle of themselves. I chose to walk away before I got angry. I work in a bar and people get drunk and they, say it with me now, SAY STUPID THINGS! After coming back to the bar they finally asked how I got involved and I told them about my youngest son, Devlin. While I did chose to walk away and not get upset, I could not help but feel a little bit giddy about the stricken expressions that they had. 


I have been in this position before and I did not take it quite as well that time. The man in this instance was even more insensitive and I really had a hard time not leaping across the bar where I work. He kept saying that he had suffered from SIDS and still did and then started laughing about it. You could tell he had no idea what he was talking about. This conversation had been spurred on by the ribbon lapel pin that I wear so he knew it was something personal for me. Luckily, I had two phenomenal ladies who had just sat down when he started talking. They lit into the man big time which I was very thankful for since I was at work and couldn't tell him off like he so richly deserved. He left with his tail tucked between his legs and I bought them a round of drinks. 


I wish that I could say that I don't care about the stupid things people say. For the most part I manage. I learned early into my grieving process that since people generally didn't know what to say, they would say stupid things. I forgive them those for the most part because at least they are trying to talk to me about it or are acknowledging that it happened.

Trying this whole blogging thing

Alright. So I'm new to this whole blogging thing.
That being said, I'm starting this for two main reasons. The first is to reach parents and others who have also suffered a loss. Through the loss of my son, I have become a mentor of sorts to other parents who have lost children. I don't have all the answers, in fact most days I'm not sure I have any of them. I do talk to a lot of people and we share our experiences and somehow find a way to muddle through. The second is completely selfish. I like to talk. A lot. It's part of the reason I am a bartender. I often have more things to say then there is time to insert into a conversation.

I'm not really sure where I want this first blog to go. I think I'll use it mainly as a introduction piece and hope that now that I've decided to start a blog, I won't run out of things to say. Stranger things have happened...